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Moulton's Nickelodeon

Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 5:59 am Reply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Here, in no particular order, we will reprise and anthologize various and sundry original musicial numbers produced by Barsoom Tork Associates.


Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:15 am (#1 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Tell Me Why


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]

Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to me-yee...
Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to me-yee ! ! !

Well I gave you every thought I had
But you left me posting on my own
Did you have to treat me oh so bad?
All I do is click my mouse and groan

Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to me-yee...
Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to me-yee ! ! !

Well I gave you every song I had
But you left me stalking on my own
Did you have to treat me oh so bad?
All I do is drag my mouse and groan

Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to me-yee...
Tell me why-yi-yi-yi you lied,
And why you cry-yi-yied to-hoo me-hee ! ! !


CopyClef 2003-2005 John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Reclusive Internet Dementors.
"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we've finally had enough of this horse shit."




Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:20 am (#2 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Razz Barry Field Day Forever

RAZZ BARRY FIELDS


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Razz Barry Fields
Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about!
Razz Barry Field Day Forever

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out,
It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Razz Barry Fields
Nothing is real, and nothing to get stung about!
Razz Barry Field Day Forever

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low
That is you can't, you know, tune in but it's all right,
That is I think it's not too bad

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Razz Barry Fields
Nothing is real, and nothing to get strung up about!
Razz Barry Field Day Forever

Always, no sometimes, think it's me,
But you know I know when it's a scream
I think I know I mean a 'Yes' but it's all wrong,
That is I think I'm being creamed

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Razz Barry Fields
Nothing is real, and nothing to get gung-ho about!
Razz Barry Field Day Forever

Razz Barry Field Day Forever

Razz Barry Field Day Forever!



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:26 am (#3 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

A Web Forum Anthem

Slouching to the Darker Side


[Click to start embedded MP3 audio of the original version.]

Original Lyrics [Swimming To the Other Side]
Copyright © 2001-2002 Pat Humphries
Sung by Lui Collins
Album: Leaving Fort Knox

Chorus:
We are entangled with The Big Bamboozler
We are dashed by the very same rain
We are drowning in the stream together
Some in power and some in pain
We can defile this site we post on
Crushing the beings that we view in snide
Troubled spirits will dwell forever
We're all Slouching to the Darker Side

I am alone and I am lurching
Pumping Adrenalin in my grime
I am balanced at the brink of failure
I'm impatient to commit a slime
I reel backward with my senses gobsmacked
Indignation it be my crime
In arrogance I will blather,
We're all Slouching to the Darker Side

Chorus

On this travail through myths and passions
Blind to intuition, my head, it hurts
I am gathering the phools together
I'm conspiring to play my part
All of those who have succumbed before me
Band together to be my guide
Goading lessons that I will follow
We're all Slouching to the Darker Side

Chorus

When we get there we'll discover
All of the gibes we've been given to snerk
Have been with us since life's beginning and
We never noticed we were jerks
We can balance at the brink of ruin
Never recognizing that we've arrived
Troubled spirits will dwell forever
We're all Slouching to the Darker Side

Chorus

CopyClef 2005 Darth Sidious and Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, reclusive Internet dementors.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we gleefully dick around with cyberjerks like Bela Z. Bov."



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:34 am (#4 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

A Farewell To Harms

Give My Regrets to Bela

Play Song


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]

Traditional
Original Words and Music By: Geo. M. Cohan
WorldCrossing Parody By: Barsoom Tork Associates


At a Forum in Web-X one morning,
Waiting for my page to load,
A wanker poster on a mission
Came to scape the latest goat;

I told them I was on my way
To old Moulton's space;
They all gathered about,
As the lurkers pulled out,
And said, with a smile:

Give my regrets to Bela,
Remember me to Halo too,
Tell all the gang at ATI/RI,
That I will soon be screwed;

Whisper of how I'm learning
To bicker with the cliquish throng,
Give my regrets to the Bela fella,
And say that I'll smack him with a song.

Say hello to dear old Recycla,
If her you chance to see,
When you're at the Opera have a lark,
And blame it all on me;

Mention my real name ev'ry place you go,
As 'round the klown you foam;
Wish you'd call on my slum,
Now remember, old chum,
When you get back-stabbed:

Give my regrets to Bela,
Remember me to Halo too,
Tell all the gang at ATI/RI,
That I will soon be screwed;

Snicker of how I'm yearning
To dicker with the old time throng,
Give my regrets to the Bela fella,
And say that I'll sneak back e'er long.

CopyClef 2005 Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, exclusive Web-X terminators.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we're funnier and more annoying than Bela."



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:43 am (#5 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Bugger Bugger

Do Ya' Think I'm Crazy?

[Click to start IP-Sucking MIDI in a new window.]

   
Bugger   
Bugger   
Mmmm ... ooh   

He’s so nervous avoiding all the questions His mouth is dry, my heart is gently pounding Don’t you just know exactly what they’re thinking

If you want my bogons and you think I’m sexy Come on Bugger let me know. If you really need me just reach out and tweak me Come on Homeboy tell me so Tell me so Bela

He’s acting brash, looking for an answer Come on Homeboy let’s spend three years together Now hold on a minute before we go much further Give me a dime so I can phone my brother They catch a link to Tork's low brow web server At last you can tell exactly why their hearts beat

If you want my bogons and you think I’m sexy Come on Homeboy tell me so If you really need me just reach out and tweak me Come on Bugger let me know

His heart’s beating like a drum ’Cos at last he’s got this fella on the run Relax Bela now we're almost done

Two total strangers but that ain’t what they’re thinking Outside it’s cold, misty and it’s raining They got each other neither one’s complaining He says I'm sorry but I’m out of tease and coffee Never mind Bugger, we can watch the early movie

If you want my bogons and you think I’m crazy Come on Bugger let me know If you really need me just reach out and tweak me Come on Homey tell me so

If you really need me just reach out and tweak me Come on Bugger let me know If you really, really, really, really need me Just let me know Just reach out and tweak me

If you really want me just reach out and taunt me Come on Bugger let me know If you really need me just reach out and tweak me Come on Bugger let me know If you, if you, if you really need me Just come on and tell me so

CopyClef 2005 Rod Stewart and Barsoom Tork Associates. North Amurcan Bupkis, Reclusive Internet Dementors.


"At North Amurcan Bupkis, our annoying music is your everlasting earworm."



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:47 am (#6 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Give Us This Day Our Unleavened Bread

 
Matzoh Man


Matzoh Man

Bogons...wanna feel my bogons? Bogons...such a thrill my bogons Bogons...wanna crunch my bogons? Bogons...it's too much my bogons Check it out my bogons bogons. Don't you doubt my bogons bogons. Talkin' bout my bogons bogons Check it out my bogons

Every man wants to be a Matzoh Matzoh Man To have the kind of bogons always in demand Blogging in the mornings - blow by blow Burns out all the forums - tussels aglow You can best believe that he's a Matzoh Man Ready to get flattened with anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Matzoh, Matzoh Man (Matzoh Man) I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! Ow....

Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man (yeah, yeah) I've got to be a Matzoh!

Bogons, its so hot, my bogons, Bogons, love to pop my bogons, Bogons, love to please my bogons, Bogons, don't you tease my bogons, Bogons, you'll adore my bogons, Bogons, come explore my bogons, Bogons, made by a clod, my bogons, Bogons, it's so good, my bogons

You can tell a Matzoh, he has a funky walk His western shirts and leather, always look so dross Funky with his bogons, such a drama king Call him Mister Fleagle, dig his brains You can best believe that, he's a Matzoh Man Likes to be the leader, he never dresses bland

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! (all right)

Matzoh, Matzoh Man (yeah, yeah) I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! All Right!

Ugh! Matzoh...Bela! Bogons, bogons, bogons wanna feel my bogons, Bogons, bogons, bogons gonna thrill my bogons, Bogons, bogons, bogons don'tcha stop my bogons, Bogons, bogons, bogons it's so hot my bogons,

Every man ought to be a Matzoh Matzoh Man, To live a life of freedom, Matzohs make a stand, Have their own life style and ideals, Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal, You can best believe that he's a Matzoh Man He's a special person in anybody's land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Matzoh, Matzoh Man (Matzoh Man) I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! (dig the scar on my breast)

Matzoh, Matzoh Man (see my slick panache) I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! (Dig loud corkers)

Matzoh, Matzoh Man (dig my tussels!) I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh!

Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be, a Matzoh Man Matzoh, Matzoh Man I've got to be a Matzoh! HEY!


CopyClef 2005 The Village People and Barsoom Tork Associates.
All Wrongs Reversed.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Exclusive Internet Deflators.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, Ain't We Got Phun?"



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:53 am (#7 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Web Side Story

 
Dear kindly Sergeant Bupkis, 
You gotta understand, 
It's just our bringin' up-kiss 
That gets us out of hand. 
Our mothers all are laughers, 
Our fathers all are lunks. 
Golly Barsoom, natcherly we're shtunks! 

Gee, Officer Bupkis, we're very upset; We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get. We ain't no delinquents, We're misunderstood. Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good, There is untapped good! Like inside, the worst of us is good!

That's a touchin' good story.

Lemme post it to World Crossing!

Just tell it to the judge.

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough. With all their magic dragons, They won't give me a Puff. They didn't wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!

Right!

Officer Bupkis, you're really a square; This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed, We're the most disturbed, Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

In the opinion of this Kort, this child is depraved on account
he ain't had a normal home.


Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

So take him to a headshrinker.

My father is a bastard, My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered, My grandma pushes tea. My sister wears a mustache, My brother wears a dress. Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes!

Officer Bupkis, you're really a slob. This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. Society's played him a terrible trick, And sociologic'ly he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick, We are sick, sick, sick, Like we're sociologically sick!

In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk
at all. Cyberspace delinquency is purely a social disease!


Hey, I got a social disease!

So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker, They say go earn a buck. Like be a forum jerker, Which means like be a schmuck. It's not I'm anti-social, I'm only anti-work. Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!

Eek!

Officer Bupkis, you've done it again. This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen. It ain't just a question of misunderstood; Deep down inside him, he's no good!

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good! We're no earthly good, Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's crazy.

The trouble is he links.

The trouble is he's lazy.

The trouble is he stinks.

The trouble is he's gruesome.

The trouble is he's grown.

Bupkis, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Bupkis, We're down on our knees, 'Cause no one wants a wanker with a social disease. Gee, Officer Bupkis, What are we to do? Gee, Officer Bupkis, Bump you!



Moulton - Nov 11, 2005 6:57 am (#8 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

The Day Due Process Died

North American Pie

 
   
A long, long time ago...              
I can still remember              
How that music used to make me smile.              
And I knew if I had my chance              
That I could make that Lego dance              
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.              

But Reynaldo made me shiver With every posting I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep; I couldn't take one more schlepp.

I can't remember if I cried When I learned about Recycla's pride, But something touched me deep inside The day Due Process died.

So bye-bye, North American Pie. Drove my 'puter to the snooter, But the snooter was sly. And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin', "This'll be the day that I die. "This'll be the day that I die."

Did you write the Book of Thoth, And do you have faith in Bela's troth, If sweet Noirette tells you so? Do you believe in rock 'n roll, Can music save your mortal soul, And can you play the Numa Dance real slow?

Helter skelter in a summer swelter. The birds flew off with a fallout shelter, Eight miles high and falling fast. It landed foul on leaves of grass. The players tried for a forward pass, With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume While the sergeant played a drumbeat tune. We all got up to dance, Oh, but we never got the chance! 'Cause the players tried to take the field; The Muppet band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed The day Due Process died?

We started singing, "Bye-bye, North American Pie." Drove my 'puter to the snooter, But the snooter was sly. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "This'll be the day that I die. "This'll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one thread, A generation lost in dread With no time left to start again. So come on: Hobbes be nimble, Hobbes be quick! Hobbes sat smack on a candlestick Cause fire is the devil's only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage My hands were clenched in fists of rage. No angel born in hell Could break that Satan's spell. And as the flames climbed high into the night To light the sacrificial rite, I saw Satan laughing with delight The day Due Process died.

He was singing, "Bye-bye, North American Pie." Drove my 'puter to the snooter, But the snooter was sly. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "This'll be the day that I die. "This'll be the day that I die."

CopyClef 2005 Don McLean and Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Reclusive Internet Dementors.
"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we think the hosts of ATI/RI/GP/DR are cowardly weenies."



Barsoom Tork - Nov 11, 2005 7:02 am (#9 of 65) Reply
Anthropologist From Mars

Shattered Dreams

Heart Of Glass

[Clique to start Musical Mindphuque]

Once I had a forum and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, forum's fallen behind

Once I had a forum and it was sublime Soon found out I had lost my mind It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind Mucho mistrust, forum's become a grind

In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Web-X is so confusing, there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing it — it's just no good You teasing like you do

Once I had a forum and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, forum's fallen behind

Once I had a forum and it was sublime Soon found out I had lost my mind It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind Mucho mistrust, forum's become a grind

Lost inside Adorable illusion and I cannot hide I'm the one you're abusing, please don't push me aside We coulda made it cruising, yeah

Yeah, riding high on CRT's true bluish light

Once I had a forum and it was a gas Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass Seemed like the real thing only to find Mucho mistrust, forum's become a grind



Barsoom Tork - Nov 11, 2005 7:13 am (#10 of 65) Reply
Anthropologist From Mars

Identify Fiend Or Foof

Headline Noose: A score of Muppets were arrested in PDR, and charged with aggravated insult. Rumors of a jailbreak are circulating in the back-channels of the Frumious Foof-World Government.

            
           Jailhouse Rock 

   


Recylops threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail. The band was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing. You should’ve heard da' bumped out jailbirds sing... Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock. Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock.

Crushmore Spike played the tenor saxophone, IB Damned was blowin’ on the slide trombone. The drummer boy from Indy went crash, boom, bang, The whole rhythm section was the purple weenie gang. Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock. Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock.

Number forty-seven said to number three: You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see. I sure would be delighted with your company, Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me. Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock. Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock.

The nut sack was a sittin’ on a block of stone Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone. Belarney said, hey, buddy, don’t you be no square. If you can’t find a partner, I have a rod to spare. Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock. Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock.

Bupkis said to Clod, for heaven’s sake, No one’s lookin’, now’s your chance to make a break. Curbolo turned to Bupkis and he said, nix nix, I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks. Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock. Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin’ to the jailhouse rock.

CopyClef 2005 Elvis Presley and Barsoom Tork Associates. North Amurcan Bupkis, Reclusive Internet Dementors.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, the beat goes on. And on. And on."



Barsoom Tork - Nov 11, 2005 7:18 am (#11 of 65) Reply
Anthropologist From Mars

What's Past Is Prologue

Prologue and Mockingbird Overture

Bildungsroman in the Age of Character Assassination

Barsoom Tork reaches for his bible, Anguish in Taunt and Reaction, by Essenem Hayacaca. Barsoom opens his biblical tome, which presents the latest theological insights into the emerging field of Emotional Semantics and Emotional Semiotics. Barsoom turns to one of the bookmarked hymns toward the back of the book.

Montana Mouse, decked out in his trademark porkpie hat and red neckerchief, accompanies Barsoom on the banjo...

Mockingbird


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]
Hush, little Belabot, don't say a word,
Barsoom's gonna show you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
Barsoom's gonna turn to a poetry fling.

And if that poetry turns out crass
Barsoom's gonna hold up a looking glass.
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Barsoom's gonna bring in a flying goat.

And if that flying goat won't act,
Barsoom's gonna read you a scholarly tract.
And if that scholarly tract don't work,
Barsoom's gonna look like a stupid jerque.

And if that stupid jerque's a bore
Barsoom's gonna gin up a verbal war.
And if that anguish makes you frown,
You'll still be the cutest little robot in town.

So hush, little Belabot, don't you cry
Barsoom's gonna fix us some nice stir phry.

CopyClef 2001 by Yugo Gurl and Essenem Hayacaca.
Adapted and Performed by Barsoom Tork and Montana Mouse.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Exclusive Internet Distributors.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we solemnly swear we're up to no good."



Archos - Nov 11, 2005 9:23 am (#12 of 65) Reply
i do forums

Hey, thanks, Moulton!

That's wonderful!

Now we only have to overcome the paranoia of everybody that leaving an IP number at your file server comes close to physical annihilation.


Barry.Kort - Nov 11, 2005 9:24 am (#13 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

How about if I limit myself to running a lame Denial of Service Attack on their host?

Speaking of which, I find that if I run my fastest machine in a tight loop, I can spin up the hit counter on ATI at the rate of 4 hits per second, compared to a nominal rate of 3 hits per minute.


Archos - Nov 11, 2005 9:34 am (#14 of 65) Reply
i do forums

Speaking of which, I find that if I run my fastest machine in a tight loop, I can spin up the hit counter on ATI at the rate of 4 hits per second.


Please don't!

We really need some empirical data on what is happening in this forum. Otherwise we'll be completely subjective in our interpretation of what is going on here


Barry.Kort - Nov 11, 2005 9:42 am (#15 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

The hit counter on ATI is an unregulated freebie that anyone can use. You can create as many separate counters as you like. Hobbes uses a single counter to tally all hits on any and all threads in ATI. If you load just the GIF of the hit counter itself, it automagically increments:

The site may or may not also provide detailed statistics on referring URLs. I haven't looked into that one, but the one on his Blog site does evidently does report such stats:


Archos - Nov 11, 2005 9:44 am (#16 of 65) Reply
i do forums

Barsoom Tork, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #9, 11 Nov 2005 7:02 am

I love Heart of Glass.

Did you write that yourself. And when did you come up with it?

EDIT: Blondie, o.k., I was familiar with the tune, but didn't know who sung it, but WHEN did you adapt it for your purpose?

Your lyrics are great.

Somehow this excruciating experience of the last year or so turned you into an artist (if you haven't always been one and only choose to hide it).


Barry.Kort - Nov 11, 2005 9:51 am (#17 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

Heart of Glass is adapted from a hit number of the same name by Blondie.

I first posted it on the morning of August 14th, first it PDR and then in Soap Opera.

Somehow this excruciating experience of the last year or so turned you into an artist (if you haven't always been one and only choose to hide it).


I don't have any musical talent, so the best I can do is to adapt the lyrics of well-known numbers into song parodies. I began to do that last summer, after Recycla booted me out of ATI for embedding a music video on the ATI Soap Opera Thread.


Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 10:31 am (#18 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down



[Click to start embedded MIDI.]
  
Barsoom Tork is my name, and I drove on the Chutney train,  
Til so much rivalry came and tore up the tracks again.  
In the spring of '98, we were rollin, just trollin for bait.  
I took the train to Meta, that hell, it was a time I remember, oh so well. 

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

Back with Moonbeam at GTE, and one day she said to me, "Moulton, quick, come see, a-there goes Phillip K. Lee!" Now I don't mind choppin' wood, and I don't care if Toxanna's no good. Just take what ya need and erase the rest, But they should never have wiped out the very best.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

Like my father before me, I'm a working man, And like McDee before me, I took a rebel stand. Well, he was just pissed off, proud and brave, But a Kaibosh laid him in his grave, I swear by the verse below my feet, You can't raise the Torkel back up when its in defeat.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

CopyClef 1998 Joan Baez and Barsoom Tork Associates. In Association with the Cafe Chutney Skewer and Roast Gang.



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 10:35 am (#19 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

Stalking the Wild Aspersions

Bird Dog


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]
  
Beliza is a jerker (he's a nerd)   
A very snarky jerker (he's a turd)   
But when he jerks my theory (he's a clod)   
His jerkin' ain't so funny (what a sod)   
Beliza is a jerker who's a'tryin' to steal my thunder (he's a nerd sod)   

Hey, nerd clod get outta my face Hey, turd sod you're on a route-trace Bird dog you better leave Moulton's PlaySpace alone Hey, nerd sod get away from my threads Hey, nerd clod you better get check out your dreads Bird dog you better find a foofy little schtik of your own

Beliza sings a drub song (like a nerd) He sings the loudest snub song (ya ever heard) But when he barfs in my face (what a howl) To me he's just a wolf dog (on the prowl) Beliza wants to fly away and schlubby-drub me crazy (he's a bird dog)

Hey, bird dog get outta my face Hey, bird dog you're on a route-trace Bird dog you better leave Moulton's PlaySpace alone Hey, nerd clod get away from my threads Hey, nerd sod you better check out your dreads Bird dog you better find a foofy little schtik of your own

Beliza dissed the creature (he's a bird) He tiptoed up to reach her (he's a turd) Well he's the creature's slut now (he's a dog) He wants what he can get now (what a hog) He even made Recycla let him start a brand new thread (he's a bird dog)

Hey, bird dog get outta my face Hey, bird dog you're on a route-trace Bird dog you better leave Moulton's PlaySpace alone Hey, nerd clod get away from my thread Hey, nerd sod you better get check out your dreads Bird dog you better find a foofy little schtik of your own

SloppyClef Barsoom Tork and the Everly Brothers. North Amurcan Bupkis, exclusive Internet disruptor.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, you'll wish you never heard of any of us."



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 10:46 am (#20 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

  
      Ol' Greek Chorus 
  
      Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II and the Skewer and Roast Tribe  
      Music by Jerome Kern  
      From Showboat (1927) and Cafe Utne (1998)  

[Click to start embedded QuickTime Midi.]

Dere's an ol' site called de Cafe Utne Dat's de ol' site where I long to be! What do I care if de world's got troubles? What do I care if de Web ain't free?

Ol' man Utne, Dat ol' man Utne He mus' know sumpin' But don't say nuthin', He jes' keeps rollin' He keeps on strollin' along.

He don' plant cool beans, He don't plant flames, An' dem dat plants 'em Is soon ashamed, But ol' man Utne, He jes keeps rollin' along.

You an' me, we sweat an' strain, Brain all achin' an' racked wid pain, Post dat note! Write dat mail! Git a little funky An' the place gets frail.

Ah gits weary Mah eyes gits bleary Ah'm tired of postin An' skeered of roastin, But ol' man Utne, He jes'keeps rolling' along.

Lotta folks work on dere postings, Lotta folks work while de other folks play, Writin' dose posts from de dawn to sunset, Gittin' no rest till de judgment day.

Don't look up An' don't look down, You don' dast make De mushroom boss frown. Bend your fingers An' bow your head, An' post dat note Despite your dread.

Let me go 'way from de blather Let me go 'way from de mushroom boss; Show me dat water called Jordan, Dat's de ol' water dat I long to toss.

Ol' Greek Chorus, Dat ol' Greek Chorus, It mus' know sumpin' But don't say nuthin' It jes' keeps singin It keeps on singin' along.

Long ol' topic forever keeps rollin' on...

He don' plant cool beans, He don' plant nuttin, An' dem dat spams 'em Is soon forgotten, But ol' man Blather, He jes' keeps rollin' along.

Long ol' Kai keeps hearing dat tale. You an' me, we sweat an' strain, Brain all achin an' racked wid pain. Post dat note! Answer dat mail! Git a little punk An' your wit goes stale.

Ah, gits weary Mah eyes gits bleary Ah'm tired of hostin An' skeered of roastin, But ol' man Moulton, He jes' keeps postin along!

The Eye of Horus, The Silent Chorus, He don' plant comments, He don' spread toxins, But dem dat mocks 'em Will not out fox 'em Cuz Ol' Chief Martin, He jes' keeps fartin' along.

Kai gits weary His eyes gits bleary He's tired of hostin An' skeered of roastin, But ol' Greek Chorus, That rolling torus, He jes' keeps coastin' along!

CopyClef 1998 Barsoom Tork Associates.



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 11:03 am (#21 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

Beyond Belief

I'm a Believer
By Neil Diamond and Barsoom Tork



[Click to start embedded MIDI.]


I thought shock was only true in horror shows
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Shock was out to get me
That's the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.
Then I saw that face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in shock, I'm a believer!
I couldn't grieve more if I cried.
I thought shock was more or less a human thing,
Seems the more I gave the less I got.
What's the use in tryin'?
All you get is drained.
When I needed Oxytocin I got pain.
Then I saw that face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in shock, I'm a believer!
I couldn't grieve more if I cried.


CopyClef 2005 Barsoom Tork Associates.



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 11:14 am (#22 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

  
Album: Dirty Douching    
Artist: Bruce Channel and Barsoom Tork  
Song: Hey Bela!   



Hey, hey hey Bela! I want to know-ho-ho if you'll be my kvetch Hey, hey hey Bela! I want to know if you'll be my kvetch

When I saw you surfing on the net I said that's the kind of jerk I'd like to vet He's so bitchy, folks he can whine I'm gonna make him toe that line

Hey, hey hey Bela! I want to know if you'll be my kvetch

When you bolted and bounded away That's when I had to say C'mon Bela, give me a retch I want to know if you'll be my kvetch

Hey, hey hey Bela! I want to know if you'll be my kvetch

When you bolted and bounded away That's when I had to say C'mon Bela, give me a retch I want to know if you'll be my kvetch

Hey, hey hey Bela! I want to know if you'll be my kvetch Hey, hey hey hey hey, Bela C'mon, Bela now.....



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 11:45 am (#23 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

  

      Rapier Croon



I never feel a fight is real When I parlay with you Out of your Allegator smack The forum's a pointless torture rack

Mmm, mm, mm, mm Mr Trouble for a minute Mmm, mm, mm, mm You snarl, the trouble has a painflow in it

Say, its only a rapier croon Flailing over CRT But it wouldn't be fake-believe If you deceived with me

Yes, it's only a jackass fry Wafting via a keyboard spree But it wouldn't be fake-believe If you deceived with me

Without your rants It's a honky-tonk parade Without your slants It's a melody played in a penny arcade

It's a Barnum and Bailey world Just as phony as it can be But it wouldn't be fake-believe If you deceived with me



Montana Mouse - Nov 11, 2005 12:11 pm (#24 of 65) Reply
I never signed up to be an Internet movie star.

Geeks, Nerds, Awkward Dweebs


[Click To Start Embedded Midi]

  
I was born in the wake of a terrible war  
My mama used to bake for the kids at the door  
Papa would teach whatever he could  
Preach a little science, 
Tell a coupla boys they'd better be good  

Geeks, nerds, awkward dweebs We'd hear it from the kids on the block They'd call us geeks, nerds, awkward dweebs But every day the boss would come around And lay his money down
Picked up a girl just south of the docks Gave her a ride, plus a bagel and lox She was nineteen, I was twenty-two But I was too shy Just to know what to do

Geeks, nerds, awkward dweebs We'd hear it from the kids on the block They'd call us geeks, nerds, awkward dweebs But every week the boss would come around And lay our wages down
Never had street smarts but she treated me well With her kind, gentle, laid back smile Decades later I'm a man in despair And I haven't felt joy in a while, nope-nope I haven't felt joy in a while, nope.

He was born in the wake of a terrible war His mama used to bake for the kids at the door Grandpa would teach whatever he could Preach a little science, Tell a bunch of kids they gotta be good

Geeks, nerds, annoying dorks We'd hear it from the jerks on the net They'd call us geeks, nerds, annoying dorks But every month the boss would come around And lay the money down
Geeks, nerds, annoying dorks We'd hear it from the jerks on the net They'd call us geeks, annoying dorks But every year the boss would come around And lay our bonus down

CopyClef 2005 Cher and Barsoom Tork Associates.



Pseudohermes - Nov 11, 2005 6:50 pm (#25 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

What you put up here within a day is amazing, Moulton.

A whole music library.

And it digests more of your forum experience of the last year than you ever admitted. Or are aware of perhaps?

The last one, Geeks, Nerds, Awkward Dweebs, almost makes me cries, both for the lyrics and for the tune.


Bela's Clue - Nov 11, 2005 9:03 pm (#26 of 65) Reply
Tell Me Why

Portions of the lyrics are autobiographical.

Writing music — even if it's just ripping off lyrics into a parody — is about the only way I know of to create Oxytocin out of the aethereal vacuum.


Pseudomarx - Nov 11, 2005 9:22 pm (#27 of 65) Reply
the return of class struggle
Edited by Archos Nov 11, 2005 9:26 pm

Editor's comment: copying Moulton's Smooth Operator into this thread

But if you have the System Model as a given, you can just solve it straight-away to get the optimally smooth controller.


Smooth Operator

 
He's laughing with another girl 
And playing with another heart. 
Placing high stakes, making hearts ache. 
He's loved in seven languages. 
Diamond nights and ruby lights, high in the sky. 
Heaven help him, when he falls. 

Diamond life, lover boy. We move in space with minimum waste and maximum joy. City lights and business nights. When you require streetcar desire for higher heights.

No place for beginners or sensitive hearts When sentiment is left to chance. No place to be ending but somewhere to start.

No need to ask. He's a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.

Coast to coast, LA to Chicago, western male. Across the north and south, to Key Largo, love for sale.

Face to face, each classic case. We shadow box and double cross, Yet need the chase.

A license to love, insurance to hold. Melts all your memories and change into gold. His eyes are like angels but his heart is cold.

No need to ask. He's a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.

Coast to coast, LA to Chicago, western male. Across the north and south, to Key Largo, love for sale.

Smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator...



Pseudomarx - Nov 11, 2005 9:29 pm (#28 of 65) Reply
the return of class struggle

It's a real gift, Clue. I can't do this. But I can copy.


Alfred E. Neuman - Nov 11, 2005 10:03 pm (#29 of 65) Reply
It's Crackers to Slip a Rozzer the Dropsy in Snide.

That one is the original, not a parody. I liked the notion of a song about a 'smooth operator' as that's also a term from mathematics.


Pseudomarx II - Nov 11, 2005 10:21 pm (#30 of 65) Reply
imagine Marx had created a forum ...
Edited by Barry Kort Nov 12, 2005 7:24 am

Wishing the forum a good night's sleep:



I love Barsoom's Funeral March of Marionettes:

Alfred Hitchcock adopted Gounod's Funeral March of the Marionettes as his theme music. Did you know there were lyrics to it?

Funeral March of the Marionettes



Homo Ludens is on the loose!
Homo Ludens escaped the noose!
    He's on a spree!
    What can this be?
Maybe he's cooked his goose.



Archos - Nov 12, 2005 10:47 am (#31 of 65) Reply
i do forums

Alfred E. Neuman, "The Age of Google" #72, 11 Nov 2005 9:52 pm

  

The Pity of Dead Forums



Deriding on the Pity of Dead Forums, Login Window Monday morning fail Fifteen threads and fifteen restless posters, Three detractors and twenty-five attacks of rail.

All along the pointless odyssey The pain pulls at my bended knee Rolls along past game scores, slams and feeds. Passin' strains that have no names, Scroll bars full of old grey bands And the graveyards of the busted logic screeds.

CHORUS: Good morning Web Crossing, how are you? Don't you know me I'm your native scum, I'm the pain they call The Pity of Dead Forums, I'll be gone five hundred posts when the day is done.

Dealin' words games with the jokers in the club thread. Penny a point ain't no one keepin' score. Slide the neon mouse that moves the pointer Feel the thumb wheels gliding 'neath the pad.

And the sons of sporting chatters And the sons of engineers Ride their father's magic carpets made of bits. Mothers with their feet asleep, Are rockin' to the gentle beat And the rhythm of the rants is all they feel.

CHORUS

Nighttime on The Pity of Dead Forums, Changing topics in case you didn't see. Half way home, we'll be dull by morning Through the misty snippy darkness Rolling down to the sea.

And all the talk and people seem To fade into a bad dream And the open windows still ain't heard the news. The detractor sings his song again, The patrons will please refrain This forum's got the disappearing traffic blues.

Good night, Web Crossing, how are you? Don't you know me I'm your native scum, I'm the pain they call The Pity of Dead Forums, I'll be gone five hundred posts when the day is done.

CopyClef 2005 Steve Goodman, Arlo Guthrie, and Barsoom Tork Associates.



Hammurabi - Nov 13, 2005 8:43 am (#32 of 65) Reply
1. If any one ensnare another, putting a ban upon him, but he can not prove it, then he that ensnared him shall be put to death.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down


[Click to start IP-sucking embedded MIDI.]
   
Barsoom Tork is my name, and I drove on the damn vile train,   
Til so much rivalry came and tore up the tracks again.   
In the spring of mindfulness, we were rollin, just trollin for bait.   
I took the train to Ghetto, that hell, it was a time I remember, oh so well.   

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

Back with Kitty at Epiphany, and one day she said to me, "Moulton, quick, come see, a-there goes MTV!" Now I don't mind choppin' wood, and I don't care if Reynaldo's no good. Just take what ya need and erase the rest, But they should never have wiped out the very best.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

Like my father before me, I'm a working man, And like Klatu before me, I took a rebel stand. Well, he was just pissed off, proud and brave, But Recyla laid him in his grave, I swear by the verse below my feet, You can't raise the Torkel back up when its in defeat.

The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing, The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'. They went Na, Na, na, na, na, na, Blah, blah, buh blah, Buh blah blah, blah blah

CopyClef 2005 Joan Baez and Barsoom Tork Associates.



Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:09 pm (#33 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

COME TOGETHER



Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly
He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what he please

He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola
He say "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together right now over me

He bag production he got walrus gumboot
He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker
He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease
Come together right now over me

He roller-coaster he got early warning
He got muddy water he one mojo filter
He say "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see
Come together right now over me.




Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:13 pm (#34 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

  
         Goat Getter  


[Click to start embedded Midi.]

Got a good reason For taking the sleazy way out Got a good reason For booting the cheesy guy out now

He was a goat getter A one way exit yeah It took me so long to find out But I found out

She's a big pleaser She took me half the way there She's a big pleaser She took me half the way there now

He was a knight ridder A one way exit yeah It took me so long to find out And I found out

Tried to release her She only played Kool-Aid stands Tried to release her She only played Kool-Aid stands, now

She was a late zipper A drive-by poster yeah Took me so long to find out And I found out

Goat getter Goat getter yeah

Goat getter Goat getter yeah

Goat getter



Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:16 pm (#35 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

  
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?  


[Click to started embedded MIDI.]

You'll never know how much I really loathe you. You'll never know how much I really cringe.

Listen, Do you want to know a secret. Do you promise not to tell, whoa oh, oh.

Closer, Let me whisper in your ear. Say the words you long to hear. I'm appalled by you.

Listen, Do you want to know a secret. Do you promise not to tell, whoa oh, oh.

Closer, Let me post it on the net. Say the words you love to hear. I'm expelled by you.

I've known the secret for a year or two. Now MTV knows of our bugaboo.

Listen, Do you want to know a secret. Do you promise not to tell, whoa oh, oh.

Closer, Let me snicker in your ear Say the words you cannot bear. I'm ensnared with you.



Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:20 pm (#36 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

Giddoudahere!!!

Get Offa My Claude



I said, Hey! You! Get offa my Claude
Hey! You! Get offa my Claude
Hey! You! Get offa my Claude
Don’t hang around ’cause two’s a crowd
Dat's my Claude, baby

The cellphone is ringing
I say, "Hi, it’s me. who is it there on the line?"
A voice says, "Halo??, Salut??
Sunt Eu, un Haiduc."


GhostWriter says, "It’s three AM."
There’s too much Random Headline Noose"
Don’t you people ever wanna go to bed?
Just ’cause you feel so good, do you have
To drive me out of my Lego head?

I said, hey! you! Giddouda my head
Hey! you! Giddouda my head
Hey! you! Giddouda my head
Don’t hang around ’cause two’s a dread
In my head, baby

CopyClef Barsoom Tork and the Rolling Stones.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Exclusive Internet RingTone Distributors.
"At North Amurcan Bupkis, all we can say is Numa Numa Yei."




Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:32 pm (#37 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

A Snotty Number

Pariah

From The Sound of Mucous


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]
How do you solve
A problem like Pariah?
How do you catch
A snark and pin it down?

How do you find a word
That means Pariah?
A snake in the grass!
A Katzenjammer!
A clown!

Many a thing you know
You'd like to tell him,
Many a thing he ought
To understand.

But how do you make him sane,
And care about your pain?
How do you keep a knave
Upright and grand?

Oh, how do you solve
A problem like Pariah?
How do you mold
A screwball in your land?

How do you solve
A problem like Messiah?
How do you catch
A passion and nail it down?

How do you find a word
That means Messiah?
A fly on the wall!
A publicist! A clown!
CopyClef Richard Rogers, Oscar Hammerstein and Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Exclusive Internet RingTone Distributors.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we have no original material whatsoever."



Barry.Kort - Nov 13, 2005 11:39 pm (#38 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

Halo?? Salut?? Sunt Eu, un Haiduc.

No Reply


[Click to start embedded MIDI.]

This happened twice before,
When I came to your door,
No reply.
They said it wasn't true,
But I saw your IP through my server,
I saw the click, I saw the click,
I know that you heard me,
'Cause I looked up to see your route-trace.

I tried to ghost a blog,
They said you weren't a cog,
That's a lie,
'Cause I know where you've been,
I saw you click on your mouse, twelve times,
I nearly sighed, I nearly sighed,
'Cause you balked keyboard in hand
From another grandstand in my face.

If I were you I'd realize that I
Know you more than any other creep,
And I'll forgive the lies that I
Heard before when you gave me no reply.

I've tried to pseudo-post,
They said you weren't the host,
That's a lie,
'Cause I know where you've been,
I saw you click that link,
I nearly sighed, I nearly sighed,
'Cause you balked keyboard in hand
With another spam in my face.

No reply, no reply.

CopyClef 2005 The Beatles and Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Intrusive Internet Outlaws.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we've been here since before Al Gore 'invented' the Internet."



Moulton - Nov 15, 2005 6:44 am (#39 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

All Things Snotty

Let's reprise one of our favorite songs, just for Claudie...

ARTIST: Barsoom Tork    
TITLE: You're So Mean  



You waltzed into the Café Like you were walking onto a yacht Your words pretending to be so kind Your background was LightGreySnot You had one eye on the hotlist As you watched yourself get caught And you dreamed you'd be everyone's partner They'd be your partner, and...

You're so mean You probably think this thread is about you You're so mean I'll bet you think this snark is about you Don't you? Don't you?

You rebuked me several weeks ago When I was still quite naive Well, you said that we made such a nasty pair And that you would never leave But you threw away the things they loved And one of them was me

I had some dreams there were clods in the Café Claude's in the Café, and...

You're so mean You probably think this thread is about you You're so mean I'll bet you think this snark is about you Don't you? Don't you?

I had some dreams there were clods in the Café Claude's in the Café, and...

You're so mean You probably think this thread is about you You're so mean I'll bet you think this snark is about you Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to ATI And your clique naturally won Then you sent snotmail in confidence To see what total harm could be done Well, you're down here, playing childish games And when you're not, you're with Some RI spy or the strife of a close friend Strife of a close friend, and

You're so mean You probably think this thread is about you You're so mean I'll bet you think this snark is about you Don't you? Don't you?

CopyClef 1998-2005 Carly Simon and Barsoom Tork. North Amurcan Bupkis, exclusive Internet dispiritor.

"At North Amurcan Bupkis, we're always in your face."



Moulton - Nov 15, 2005 7:03 am (#40 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

I've Got A Feeling


[Click To Start Embeded Midi]

   
        I've Got A Feeling   

I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside Oh yeah, Oh yeah. I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide Oh no. Oh no, Oh no, Yeah I've got a feeling.

Oh please believe me, I'd hate to diss your pain Oh yeah, Oh yeah. And if you grieve, I won't tempt fate again Oh no, Oh no, Oh no. Yeah I've got a feeling yeah.

All these years I've been gamboling about, Wondering how come nobody told me All that I was looking for was somebody Who snerked like you.

Ev'rybody had a hard year Ev'rybody had a good time Ev'rybody had a wet dream, Ev'rybody saw the sunshine Oh yeah, Oh yeah.

Ev'rybody had a good year, Ev'rybody let their hair down, Ev'rybody pulled their socks up, Ev'rybody put their foot down. Oh yeah, Oh yeah.



Gastrin Bombesin - Nov 15, 2005 9:43 am (#41 of 65) Reply
Who can make your skin crawl? Who can wrench your gut?
Edited by Barry Kort Nov 17, 2005 4:55 pm

Numa Numa Yay!



Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha


Vrei Sa Pleci Dar Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei
Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei, Nu Ma, Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei.

[You wanna split cuz you don't want,
Don't want to have me,
Don't want, don't want to have me,
Don't want, don't want, don't want to have me.]


[Click to start QuickTime Video of Numa Numa Yei.]

Halo?? Salut??
Sunt Eu, un Haiduc.

[Greetings, Halo.
It's Me, an Outlaw.]



Credit: Leg-O-Zone QuickTime parody of Dragostea Din Tei by Franky Pageos.


Pseudomarx - Nov 15, 2005 6:52 pm (#42 of 65) Reply
the return of class struggle

I am just glad that I have DSL now, so that I can enjoy this.

Yesterday has been like entering a whole new era for me personally.

I had a problem though after installing Mac's Quick Time on my Windows XP. Hope it doesn't return.

Speaking of a new era: is nobody of you guys familiar with the strategy game Civilization?

I have been playing Civilization III like an addict since late August.


Barry.Kort - Nov 15, 2005 6:55 pm (#43 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

I liked the Sim series better, and the puzzle games of the Myst series and the ones by Cliff Johnson.


Pseudohermes - Nov 15, 2005 8:13 pm (#44 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

I have installed SimCity IV on my new computer, but I haven't gotten in the mood for playing it really yet.

When I bought my first computer in April 1996, an Apple Performa, it came with MYST and I played it heavily and my brother even more. But somehow for me (probably because I am too dumb) both MYST and later RIVEN pretty soon turned into pretty frustrating addictions. I am not very tempted to get the follow-up games.

So which version of Civilization did you play and for how long? Even after three months I still find the concept of the development and clashing of various civilizations fascinating. I love that I still haven't figured out the game after all these months (I still never won as 'prince', let alone as 'god') and yet I am *not* frustrated.


Pseudomarx II - Nov 15, 2005 9:37 pm (#45 of 65) Reply
imagine Marx had created a forum ...

00107 TEMPO FM

a station that I only discovered today, now that I can fly


Artemis - Nov 15, 2005 10:11 pm (#46 of 65) Reply
The mystical is not *how* the world is, but *that* it is. --Wittgenstein

Pseud, check out http://shoutcast.com if you're looking for lots of musical selections.


Artemis - Nov 16, 2005 12:05 am (#47 of 65) Reply
The mystical is not *how* the world is, but *that* it is. --Wittgenstein

Question of the week

If you divide the diameter of your pumpkin by its circumference do you get pumpkin pi?


Barry.Kort - Nov 16, 2005 5:10 am (#48 of 65) Reply
The Muppets Will Rise Again

No. You get the reciprocal of Pumpkin Pi.


Moulton - Nov 16, 2005 6:59 am (#49 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

So which version of Civilization did you play and for how long?


I played primitive Unix versions of these games back in the 70s, before they evolved into glitzy commercially packaged versions for Windows.


Archos - Nov 16, 2005 7:17 am (#50 of 65) Reply
i do forums

I played primitive Unix versions of these games back in the 70s, before they evolved into glitzy commercially packaged versions for Windows.


Oh, Moulton, you need to become a child again! A teenager at least.

If you divide the diameter of your pumpkin by its circumference do you get pumpkin pi?


Heh. Don't ask me.

Pseud, check out http://shoutcast.com if you're looking for lots of musical selections.


Thanks! I just downloaded iTunes yesterday. VIVALDI! Just what I need right now.

http://www.sky.fm/mp3/hit70s.pls


Moulton - Nov 16, 2005 7:24 am (#51 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

Artemis and I are not only consumers of online audio programming.

We are producers, as well.

Now that you have DSL, if you want to webcast your private CD collection, you can use one of our vacant channels.


klaatu - Nov 16, 2005 7:53 am (#52 of 65) Reply
I'm impatient with stupidity, my people have learned to live without it.

How would one of us non-authorized USU students get access to that?


Moulton - Nov 16, 2005 8:14 am (#53 of 65) Delete MessageReply
The Man Who Mistook His Life For A Chat

I can assign you a vacant channel on ShoutCast, if you select that system. On IceCast, you can just make up a name for your channel.


klaatu - Nov 16, 2005 8:33 am (#54 of 65) Reply
I'm impatient with stupidity, my people have learned to live without it.

One what basis would I select one over the other? Can you point me to instructions on how to use it?


Pseudomarx II - Nov 16, 2005 8:38 am (#55 of 65) Reply
imagine Marx had created a forum ...

Mostly Classical Now serving 8887 listeners!


Currently Playing:


Bach - Concerto for Bassoon and Orchestra, in E sharp major, T 8,13


I feel like I am a different person, now, that I am listening to music while posting.

Oops, finished.


klaatu - Nov 16, 2005 9:02 am (#56 of 65) Reply
I'm impatient with stupidity, my people have learned to live without it.

Bach - Concerto for Bassoon and Orchestra, in E sharp major, T 8,13

There is no such thing.


Pseudomarx II - Nov 16, 2005 9:08 am (#57 of 65) Reply
imagine Marx had created a forum ...

I believe you.

Doesn't matter. I just listened to it. Or that's what SKY.fm told me at there website.

At the moment I'm trying out Modern Jazz. Not bad at all.


TumbleWeed - Nov 16, 2005 10:13 am (#58 of 65) Reply
All Choked Up

One what basis would I select one over the other? Can you point me to instructions on how to use it?


On the basis of which DJ client program you care to install. On Windows, if you use WinAmp, you will probably select the ShoutCast DNAS PlugIn, as that is the most popular. Other DJ clients, both freebies and commercial, are available for most platforms. I use MacAmp on the Macintosh, which supports the ShoutCast DNAS protocol. On Linux, there are more options, including ICES and DarkIce for IceCast.

Each site where the software is offered for download has accompanying documentation pages. At ShoutCast you can find the link for the WinAmp/ShoutCast DJ client.


Pseudohermes - Nov 17, 2005 7:14 pm (#59 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

What I am listening to right now:

http://www.sky.fm/channel/playlist/trance

Trance. Interesting concept. DJ Lithium. Hmmm.


Pseudohermes - Nov 20, 2005 10:30 am (#60 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

some of my favorites of Barry's collection:

Moulton, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #2, 11 Nov 2005 6:20 am Razz Barry Fields

Moulton, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #5, 11 Nov 2005 6:43 am Do Ya' Think I'm Crazy?

Moulton, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #8, 11 Nov 2005 6:57 am North American Pie The Day Due Process Died

Barsoom Tork, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #9, 11 Nov 2005 7:02 am Heart of Glass

Montana Mouse, "Moulton's Nickelodeon" #18, 11 Nov 2005 10:31 am The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down

It's really a heartwringing collection retelling the pain that was inflicted on Barry because of lack of empathy.


Bela - Nov 20, 2005 10:34 am (#61 of 65) Reply
Now 60% water

It's really a heartwringing collection retelling the pain that was inflicted on Barry because of lack of empathy.


Do you mean Barry's lack of empathy for others?

Someone who habitually gets themselves banned from forums apparently has a problem taking others into consideration.

Now, sure, those 'songs' might be a cry for help, but his behavior--and the beliefs that create it--Barry is holding onto those with both hands and isn't about to let go.


Pseudohermes - Nov 20, 2005 10:37 am (#62 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

You're a sucker for group bullying, Bela. I almost inevitably root for the individual never mind his flaws.


Bela - Nov 20, 2005 10:45 am (#63 of 65) Reply
Now 60% water

Well, good for you. Helping others maintain their fiction is of dubious aid.

Anyway, enjoy your guilt trip. Golly, someone even bought tickets for you.


Pseudohermes - Nov 20, 2005 11:07 am (#64 of 65) Reply
don't shoot the Albatross

I don't feel guilty, Bela. Not one yota. I am just surprised by the force of Barry's resistance.

Others have tried that way better to send me on guilt trips.


Bela - Nov 20, 2005 11:21 am (#65 of 65) Reply
Now 60% water

Barry will be back, when this 'swing' is over.


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